DatingDoc Podcast | The Date – The Lost Art Of Dating

good afternoon good morning good day good week whatever time you're watching this is Chris the dating doc with the dating doc podcast so we're gonna talk about the date that's we're gonna talk about today the date and you're probably wondering okay well what do you mean the date well we talked about swiping and we talked about texting and messaging and that's that's actually what dating has been become more of that's kind of been the focuses is all the online stuff and all the digital stuff but what about the date or is åsa call it courting right that's that's a lost word that's been replaced with catfishing and zambian or submarining oh you know all this swipe left swipe right but what about the date the actual date okay so we're gonna go we're gonna try to make this a little bit condensed originally I was gonna make this a little bit longer but you know we're an ADD land nowadays people can't pay attention they can't even steal attention so to two ways we're going to format this podcast we're gonna go into some fun dating ideas all right got three fast ones I'm gonna hit you with some fast ones just throw them at you and then we're gonna go in through some components that are needed for any date you go on this is important people I want you to listen in first off though first off we got to introduce and we gotta announce our $25 Amazon gift card winner from last podcast all you got to do is listen into these podcasts we do this for a reason we want to increase viewership and the subscribers but you know what you get a lot more value out of just listening to the podcast whether we have a contest or not but Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew you are our winner you had yeah really good really fun dating idea which is getting all the chains together going to a Coinstar machine and using whatever cash comes out of that on a date now I recommend this is more of a second or third date when you're with someone and you know say hey look let's get our loose chains together let's see what kind of money comes out of this and that is our date whether we drink and we drown with 23 dollars or we go out there and use it for a meal or we go on a picnic no one does that anymore but we should go on a picnic and hey we've bought some Bologna and even a cheap bottle of wine and here we are with those 23 dollars so Andrew you are our winner $25 Amazon gift card there's a lot you can do that so have fun with that appreciate appreciate your support Andrew and everyone else listening in so 3 dating ideas we're ready are we ready we're ready ready we're about to launch this okay let's go with number one the number one dating idea that I think will just take you from the basic let's go to lunch let's go to Starbucks people don't really care about how they dressed anymore and just kind of like show up you know but we want to get into some creative ideas so first idea is networking event what do I mean by this I mean go to a networking event if you're professional go out there and yeah yeah you have to be on you have to put on that that networking face but if you're both professionals this gives you a time and a moment to see what that person is all about in a social setting like that you know are they the overly obnoxious type are they the type that you know name drops for the right reasons or do they name drop to gossip are they the kind of person that interrupts conversations or they more of a positive person that's trying to help other people build connections and leads all right so and it's a team approach if you two get along use that to get leads for each other bring your business cards have fun with it it's a great excuse for the guys that get dressed up right you can't get away with just the shirt and the shorts you got to put on a button-down or something so go out to one of these events every city every big city has the Toastmasters chapter that's a good way to network you got B and I you got Chamber of Commerce events these are all happening throughout month all you have to do is google them and use that as a date so you know what got it yeah we could have gone the whole Starbucks still you know lacks date now let's go to this chamber commerce event they got a little good guest speaker there that I really want to listen to and be a good experience for us so try that as a dating idea second one we got here is a kid date obviously these are for single parent types you're gonna go out there and rank grab some random kid to do a kid date that's a whole nother political talk but we won't get into that so kid date now first things first keep in mind be mindful about the kid date it can be planned the smart way this doesn't mean it has to be this intimidating elaborate event just life shaking event where you now you're introducing your kids to someone new and whatnot no it doesn't have to be like that a kid they could be at your local Chucky Cheese type of place and you can do in a group setting you can bring a friend along bring your favorite gal friend to go gage with this new guys all about that way it's less intimidating it kind of dilutes that intimidation go out there and go to an outdoor patio that's kid friendly and you say hey look mommy's got some new friends and they got kids and you can all play together alright so you can make any a good event if it's a group type of setting even better you know I obviously recommend as a second or third date it'd be a little bit inconsiderate to do it as a first date because I think what that means is it just has a lot of mixed signals there it says hey look I want you to meet my kids from the get-go that's a little bit much but again eventually having that group type of setting as a kid they it lets you see their parenting skills you can have fun with it you can text each other across you know across the little patio and say you know damn you looking good and I'm glad the kids are getting along kind of deal kids are just too busy playing especially depending on the age you know they're just busy playing and in a group setting they're not thinking twice trust me they're not thinking twice and saying how mommy's new boyfriend yeah not at all in a group setting then you don't have to pinpoint that and it's great because I know for I know for a fact I love being with my daughter I love the presence of my daughter but I know companionship takes time and I got to get to know someone and do I really want to be surprised by their parenting skills later on now let's eventually get that kid date going nothing wrong with that as long as you mindfully plan it there's nothing wrong with that number three number three number three this is more of an idea to take to a date where are you are you really needed something to write with and napkin or piece of paper this is the way it works for example I asked a woman across across the table I say look I want you to guess my favorite color and I'm gonna write it down on a napkin she's gonna write down her guess I've written down my favorite color I'm covering up my side of napkins she's covering hers and on a count of three we unveil our answer so my favorite color is red and she guessed blue turns it around oops oh man what the heck were you thinking do I look like a blue guy conversation starter it's fun it's competitive and it really spruce up spruces up the the coffee date or the blunt state or even a dinner date and it's fun because then you can just switch on up say you know what I'm gonna guess your favorite color or I'm going to answer a trivia question and if you know the answer then obviously you know you're gonna write that down and the other person writes down their response and it's fun because again it gets things going you get away from the 21 questions and and and the awkward silences which it's crazy because I coach people on how not to have these awkward silences yet I'm so surprised that professionals from all walks of life go through these so try that try that as an idea you know do some trivia on a napkin and answer each you know questions and guess it's uh it's fun and get away from the initial silliness of it because you know what else is silly is being awkwardly quiet or being so formal during the date that you can't let yourself you know you can't let your your uh your hair down that would that would suck right you can't you don't want to consider this idea but you'd rather go through the awkward dates of what not don't do that don't do that so let's review that okay we got the networking event we got the kid date and then we got this what I call napkin trivia napkin Q&A and I think that'd be a great wave for you guys all to spruce up the dating environment no one I want all of yours I said in another short video I want all of you all to be your own ambassadors of a good dating environment and part of that is making sure the date is taken care of so I'm gonna go through these quickly these components are needed during the dates okay make sure that you keep mine of what you need during the date okay so first off it needs to be safe and I mean mentally and physically it needs to be safe make sure there's public lighting make sure there's people around last thing you need to worry about even of a hundred percent this is a guy or gal you're interested in attracted to safety has to be there and I'm gonna confess something here I have tested out that theory of wondering you know what a woman realistically go to my house on a first date and yes that's happened that has happened and I didn't call him out on it obviously they're safe you know that you know there wasn't anything that I didn't put them in any kind of predicament but I wanted to know if this was possible if some woman are are you know will they put themselves in that danger and I tell you right now that you know obviously I'm a man that's very respectful of that I know that safety would be a big thing for my daughter as much as it would be for my sisters and other females in my life but as a as a date coach you know you often want to learn those new angles and viewpoints and I'm wondering I've had woman that have come to my house on a first date and I not to be confused with like a something casual first date was actually showing up to my house and that could have gone bad if it was another man it really could have so make sure the safety is there both mentally and physically mentally meaning that you're relaxed you feel safe you know this person is not the one that's gonna rattle off politics you don't agree with or some sort of like social issues that are just gonna make the day go wrong and that takes a little bit of chemistry building in the beginning so Safety's first creativity okay we went in to do all these dating ideas make sure your dates creative if you if you really care about that person and if you're a woman don't be on the receiving end of that creativity don't think let's see what this guy's gonna do how can this guy impress me you know what sometimes you can be in charge of that as well you can both be in charge of that creativity for a date okay don't just say you know what what can he do for me what's that song say what can you do for me lately don't don't anyways so yeah make sure it's creative if you can make sure it's inspiring if you wanted to catch a speaker that you're both been wanting to watch for a while maybe an author that's coming to your city and you both enjoy the book well you know what that's an inspiring date that leaves something when you come home you're like you know what that was different I was inspired by that date so keep that in mind make it inspiring as much as you want to make it creative and the last component which is really important and I coach a lot of clients on this is have have an objective have a goal a lot of folks go into these dates saying well I'm just gonna throw spaghetti on the wall and see what sticks that is their attitude I'm gonna throw spaghetti on the wall and see what sticks going all these all these coffee dates all these lunch dates and whatever sticks then you know that's that's how it works no come on now make sure you have an objective if you're going on a date and you say you know what my objective is I want to find out this person is just as funny as they are in in over online is they are in person or my objective is to gauge if this person is a family person if they're well studied and if they can avoid talking about sex all right that last one seems like so simple but maybe that's your gauge maybe you're like hey all these guys have just been talking about sex all the time let's see if he can set himself apart and you can think about these goals while you're driving to your date while you driving to the restaurant or the the venue you're going to think about what your goals are if you don't have any goals you're just wasting time money and gas so again I repeat make sure it's safe make sure it's creative and inspiring they kind of go hand in hand and have an objective that way you allow for better chemistry building okay don't get away from a mental checklist but just have an objective say you know what this is what I want to come out of the date and then just have fun with it so that's that's it for now we are gonna talk about feminism next and more specifically we're gonna get into a little bit more news references and and getting some viewpoints from from all of you folks on on feminism if it's a helping hurting dating and what does that mean for the future of dating companionship in in marriage so I hope you enjoyed this this was more of a almost a a helping type of podcast instead of a through the conceptual part of it you know instead of having something super controversial or anything that sort so hope you're having a good week I just came back last night from Austin where I was at the logic concert logic is a great hip-hop artist not a not a mumble rapper he's a great artist and I recommend you listening to some of his tracks if you haven't yet so thank you for your time and this is Chris the dating doc signing out

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