Emotional Purity & Guarding Your Heart | Christian Dating Advice

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Today we're gonna be answering one of your questions which is how do you stay emotionally pure in a dating relationship? So today I'm going to share three tips with you for staying emotionally pure but first we have to define what emotional purity actually is In my mind emotional purity means that you see your boyfriend as your boyfriend, not as your husband Not forming too deep of a soul connection with him like I would in marriage saying I'm all-in and all yours when we're just dating So that's what I think emotional purity is Now I do want to clarify that some people want emotional purity because in their mind what they're thinking is not emotional purity, it's like having a wall and a guard up so that you don't get hurt

And the thing is with dating and with close friendships, there is a risk involved You're putting yourself, your heart out there, you're being vulnerable and there is the risk of being hurt or having your heart broken And I don't think there's a way around that Just because you're emotionally pure does not mean that it won't hurt or that you won't be disappointed if the relationship doesn't work out So I just want to clarify that emotional purity is not about having a wall up so you don't get hurt; it's about keeping the relationship in your mind and in your heart what it is in reality, and not seeing your boyfriend as a husband when he's just your boyfriend

So how can you stay emotionally pure in a relationship? I want to share three tips with you today that I think are really helpful and maybe they can help you too And comment below any tips you would add So tip number one is keep your life in balance, and I've got three ways you can do this First way, stay close with your friends We all know those girls – and I have been one of those girls – who gets in a relationship and all of a sudden her friends are like, "Have you seen Tiffany lately? Like I don't know where she's been

Oh right, she's dating that new guy and she's only always with him and never sees her friends!" So don't be that girl That's dangerous That means that your relationship is starting to fall out of balance Now that doesn't mean you have to stay friends with every single acquaintance you've ever had, but it does mean that your real close friends, the people you trust, that you've invested in, you need to make time for them and prioritize them Don't just spend every minute with your boyfriend but also make time for those friendships

Another part of keeping your life in balance is continuing to do things that you enjoy So if you really enjoy sports or if you really enjoy music or this certain ministry you're doing, that you're still making time for it That your boyfriend is not taking over your whole world, especially in the first few months And there might be some things that you need to step back from if you're a really busy person and you're like, "I don't even have time to see my boyfriend!" Then yeah it might be time to cut some things out of your schedule so you have time to invest in him too, especially if the relationship is getting serious However he shouldn't just become your entire world; you should still be doing things that you love to do and you should still have those outlets

James and I still have those outlets and we're married And part number three is to make sure that your boyfriend is not your only outlet for emotional support, so you're not getting all your emotional needs met in your boyfriend And this is true even in marriage; you can't have all your emotional needs met in one person, because they're human We need other people We need friendships, we need mentors, we need a relationship with God, and so make sure you have all those outlets so you're not putting all your emotional needs on your boyfriend

So all that to say, keep your life in balance Number two: Be aware of your daydreams We all day dream At least I think we all daydream and I hope I'm not the only one! But it's really easy in our thought life to make our relationship far bigger than it is or far more serious than it is, and so just be aware of that It can be normal to daydream and things, like, "I wonder what it would be like if we were to get married

" And to some extent that can be helpful to think through it, but if you're daydreaming about that too much, especially in the early phases of a dating relationship, it's gonna make the relationship far more serious in your mind and your emotions and heart than it is in reality And I think that that kind of sets yourself up to start seeing your boyfriend as more of a husband rather than as your boyfriend And the third point is: Let your relationship grow more slowly Not that it has to be a certain length of time, but it's really easy to go in the space of even a week from I just met this person to this is my soulmate And I think that it's so important to let your relationship grow slowly, in its own time and pace, without rushing it

And so that means not having conversations about: "Are you the one for me? Are we gonna get married? What would life look like if we were married?" – I would not recommend those conversations until at least a few months into your relationship; certainly not the first couple weeks! Give your relationship time to grow, space to grow Get to know each other; just see if you like him as a person, just see if you're good together as as a couple before you jump into: "Let's talk about marriage" Along the same lines is you don't need to open the deepest secrets of your heart to him in the first couple weeks You need to see first if he earns your trust Just like with friendships, it's so easy to want – you click with someone and you just want to like spill your guts to them

And there might be times when that's appropriate, but I think a lot of the time that creates a false sense of intimacy, where you suddenly feel a lot closer to the person than you actually are, because you haven't gotten to know them yet You haven't gotten to know if they're trustworthy And if you've been friends before you started dating, this might be a lot different for you, but if you're just getting to know the person, give it space, give it time, don't spill too much at the very beginning, but let yourself grow into the relationship There's no rush; just kind of take it slow, let it go at its own pace And in closing, if you find that you're always taking relationships too far too fast, making it too serious in your mind right away, I would just kind of reflect on that a little bit

Ask God like, "Where's that coming from?" Maybe talk with some older, wiser people who you trust and just ask like, "What's causing that in my heart?" Because that could be a sign that there's something deeper going on inside you that maybe you need to work through with God and with people who you trust So girls I hope that that can really help These are my thoughts on that topic; comment your thoughts down below as well I love you girls and I'll see you on Tuesday Bye!

Author: admin